Remorse

Today I am posting this with a heavy heart. My mom has passed away. She was found Tuesday morning and she died in her sleep Saturday night into Sunday morning.

I am writing this because I am a little surprised. Obviously at the fact that she is gone now and wasn't expecting it but also the fact that is hurts more than I thought it would. Let me explain. For the last 10 years of my life I have hardly spoken to my mother at all. I would even go as far as to say I hated her. There was a lot of lying and deceiving that came from her my whole life along with a lot of drinking. So because of this I though it wouldn't bother me as much as it has.

Looking back now I wish I had let all this anger go and just at least talk to my mom once in a while. I know its so cliche to say that but its 100% true. I could of even showed her how much better my life has been. I have a loving wife and I couldn't be happier (you know before this news). That might of made it easier to let the anger go. Its all to late now and I wished she knew how I felt now.

I wish I had a second chance do redo this, but I don't so just need to take it day by day.